I GOT OUT OF THE BOAT AND WALKED!

A beautiful and uplifting message so relevant to our times.

The Godly Chic Diaries

“Suddenly, a fierce storm struck the lake, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The deciples went and woke him up, shouting, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith! ” Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm.” Matthew 8:24

I would like to be known as the girl who tried and failed rather than the girl who never tried at all. Let me get out of the boat. Others might watch me sink after taking a few steps, but they will never be able to say that I did not step out . They may highlight my failure of sinking in the water I walked on, but I will be quick to remind them that, at the very least. I GOT OUT OF THE BOAT AND…

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Someday is a Disease

For years “someday” to me was a fond hope. However, I made up my mind I was not going to allow “someday” to rule my life. August 2 became my “someday,” also my INDEPENDENCE DAY!” Yes, there have been bumps and doubts along the way but I have never been happier–and I will never go back!

TheEnlightenedMind622

“For all of the most important things, the timing always sucks. Waiting for a good time to quit your job? The stars will never align, and the traffic lights of life will never all be green at the same time. The universe doesn’t conspire against you, but it doesn’t go out of its way to line up the pins either. Conditions are never perfect. ‘Someday’ is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you.”

-Timothy Ferris

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Overcoming Panic Attacks

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Don’t tell God how big your storm is; tell the storm how big your God is!

As of October 4 my book, Overcoming Panic Attics: Emerging from Darkness into His Marvelous Light, is available on Amazon.

This was probably one of the hardest books I will ever write, not because of length or complicated subject matter but because, in writing it, I revisited one of the most miserable, isolated and devastating periods of my life.  For fifteen years—nearly half of my twenties and all of my thirties—I suffered crippling panic attacks so severe they bordered on agoraphobia.  None of the conventional treatments helped.  Drugs rendered me foggy and nonfunctional.  Therapy left me confused and depressed.  Well-meaning family and friends urged me to focus on other things, or to just make up my mind not to let panic get the upper hand.  They offered sound advice, but my malady bound me so tightly it completely dominated my life.  I could see nothing else—and no way out.

I am not an authority on panic disorders.  I hold no degrees nor have I studied the subject in any depth.  This book details my personal struggles, the depression and escalating despair that nearly drove me to suicide, and then God’s miraculous intervention.  He literally pulled me out of the darkness and into His marvelous light, setting my feet back on the path of life.  I can personally attest that Jesus Christ is alive, He is King of kings and Lord of lords, and He grants every born-again Christian authority, in His name, over the demonic spirits that assail us.  Looking back, I firmly believe God intentionally pulled every crutch out from under me in order to bring me to Himself.  And I am grateful!  With fifteen of the best years of my life a ruin, I never believed the rest of it could amount to anything.  With God, however, nothing is impossible!  Joel 2:25 says, in part, “I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar. . .”   I believe God did restore those fifteen years.  Since Jesus drove out that spirit of fear I have enjoyed more happiness and fulfillment than I ever thought possible.  That is why I wrote this book: to share what I learned and to lead others to Jesus, who is greater than anything that can ever come against us.  He is available to all!

The Kindle version is available for free for this entire week, and there is also a paperback version.

© Everthedreamer, 2019 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given.

Vanquishing Panic Attacks

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Once you emerge from an unpleasant chapter in life, it is best to go your way and never look back–right?  After overcoming the demons, discovering an abundance you never dreamed you could have, and leaving the ghosts of those wasted, unhappy years so far behind you no longer see them anymore, why revisit them?  What good could that possibly do?  Sometimes, a lot of good.

I had endured 16 years of crippling and debilitating panic attacks that claimed almost half of my twenties and all of my thirties, attacks so severe they bordered on agoraphobia.  I would have gladly sequestered myself, except I had no one willing to support me.  I functioned, if you could call it that, in the shadows, restricting grocery runs to all-night stores in the wee hours when the stores stood largely empty, and only attending functions if I could find a seat near the door so I could beat a hasty retreat in the face of an oncoming attack.  I never dated.  I had no social life.  In fact, I had no life at all–just a pseudo-existence filled with loneliness and misery.  And no one understood.

Miraculously, I functioned well enough to hold a job as a computer programmer, tucked away in a protective cocoon hidden in the bowels of the corporate office.  I brought my own lunch and ate at my desk, arriving early and staying late to avoid as much traffic as possible.  I tried counseling, pills–nothing worked.  The counselors left me feeling worse, while the pills made me foggy and less functional than ever.

One night I was forced to leave early.  A road rage incident in rush hour traffic propelled me straight home and into my bedroom bent on committing suicide.  In that dark room, backed into a corner, I came to terms with how I’d been living.  God asked some pointed questions, not audibly, but through thoughts put into my mind.  I confessed my sin and gave my heart and life to Jesus Christ.  In the days that followed God began to move and the miracles began.  The chains fell away and for the first time in years I could breathe.  In June of 1992 the panic attacks were forever vanquished and my life restored.

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After publishing BELLA I intended to start formatting a children’s book but for some reason felt compelled to revisit this chapter and to write the story of my journey out of darkness into light, out of bondage into perfect freedom with my sanity intact.  The story ends joyfully.  How can I NOT tell it?  And if it helps draw others to freedom and new life, it will have all been worth it.  Looking back, I don’t even consider it an ordeal anymore, but simply another leg of my life’s journey.

Today I start organizing my thoughts and notes for this amazing story.  As the book comes together, I will share on this blog.  Often what helps a suffering person most is access to someone who not only sympathizes, but can empathize with what they are enduring.  Hopefully, I can be that person.

© Everthedreamer, 2019 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given.


 

***In the first guest post to ever appear on #MillennialLifeCrisis, the following post was written by the talented Mathew from Blog of the Wolf Boy. “Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others.” – Jack Welch Becoming the Shepherd This thought […]

via Guest Post: Shepherd or Sheep — #MILLENNIALLIFECRISIS

What are you made of?

Cloud over Eden

No one likes adversity. I know I don’t. When storm clouds gather over my peaceful world I tend to pray for God’s divine winds to drive them away.  Yet nothing makes one appreciate the good in life nor reveals the true character more than fate tossing a monkey wrench into one’s well-ordered routine. Such a monkey wrench smacked me square in the teeth and gave me a profound respect that remains to this day for anyone suffering disability. Early in 2010 I noticed a nagging pain in my neck and right shoulder—not an uncommon thing for someone who spends most days staring at a computer screen. I sought the usual remedies: massage, therapeutic massage, chiropractic—even acupuncture. The pain only worsened. Over-the-counter remedies offered no relief. I began losing motion in my right arm and the pain from laying on it or positioning it wrong kept me awake. Any relief gained from whatever treatment I tried vanished by the time I got home. After a few months I had raw, burning pain that never stopped and I could no longer reach around behind me or lift my arm above my head. I went to a surgeon.

Severe degeneration in my neck had pinched a nerve. In December 2010 I underwent a cervical fusion to fuse my C3 through C7 vertebrae. The surgery went well, but the following morning I could not move my right arm. I had been told that this condition, called C5 palsy, sometimes occurred but usually passed with time. After days and then weeks passed with no improvement I became depressed. I told myself this nerve had been under tremendous pressure for months and simply needed time to heal. You really find out what you are made of during something like this and, sadly, I proved myself a pathetic wimp. What if that arm never came back? What I should have considered, however, was that my mind was still sharp; my dominant arm had taken a nap but the other still functioned; I could still walk; and, to a lot of people’s dismay, I could still talk. I was not disabled by any means! More important, I was blessed with a wonderfully supportive family who rallied around me. I especially appreciated my mother’s care, encouragement, and prayers. I had the care of an excellent doctor. Each day I did the exercises he gave me and tried to move my arm. Finally, one evening in late February I lifted my hand and forearm! I could bend the elbow! I couldn’t lift the elbow but that didn’t matter. My stricken limb was waking up. Five days later I raised the entire arm and after three months of physical therapy regained the full use of it.

I wish I could offer my experience as an inspiration, but I can’t. I was inconvenienced for a time but by God’s grace recovered. Had my arm remained nonfunctional I would have adjusted eventually. But would I have glorified God the way I did when He restored me? Would I have glorified Him at all? The truly inspiring people are those who, although permanently debilitated, not only adjust but surmount their obstacles and then reach out to others. I did some research and discovered the following: a survivor of a land mine who now helps craft artificial limbs; a man left a quadriplegic by muscular dystrophy who helps people with disabilities give back by organizing events where disabled volunteers put together care packages for needy children; a climber who, rendered a paraplegic after a fall, designed a machine that enabled, not only himself, but other paraplegics to continue their passion. I personally knew a man who, wracked by muscular dystrophy, spent his last years in a nursing home. George could turn his head and had almost imperceptible movement in the little finger of his left hand; otherwise, he was totally paralyzed. Yet who did the staff go to when they needed cheering up? George! He entertained everyone with jokes and stories but more important, testified of God’s love and goodness. These people faced inconceivable adversity but looked beyond themselves and extended hope, compassion, and purpose to others. They have bettered the world.

Have I the fortitude—and do I care enough—to do the same?

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© Everthedreamer, 2019 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given