You Teach Others How To Treat You

Dr. Eric Perry

Written by Dr. Eric Perry
Image Credit: Pixabay

“You teach people how to treat you.” ~Oprah Winfrey

Many of us are living our lives repeating the same heartbreaking and unhealthy patterns. We appear to be stuck on replay unable to move forward while continually duplicating the chaos that caused us to leave our last relationship. Perhaps there is a belief that we have a “type” that we attract. We seem to get involved emotionally with the same type of person that inevitably turns out to be Mr. or Mrs. Wrong.

Looking at our past, we may realize that we are often at the center of a chaotic or unhealthy situation. Our belief may be that these situations keep happening to us. But, perhaps the real truth is that we are helping to create these situations by planting the seed of the behavior and nourishing its growth. Our subconscious beliefs about…

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Beware of These 8 Coronavirus-Related Scams

Truth2Freedom's Blog

As if the coronavirus pandemic itself isn’t bad enough, there are lots of scammers out there taking advantage of it — at our expense. Many websites, including government ones like the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), the Internal Revenue Service (IRS), and the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB), are listing scams to be wary of.

Source: Beware of These 8 Coronavirus-Related Scams

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Random Acts of Kindness

Random Acts

Something happened today I have never experienced before.  It left me reeling—not from shock, horror, or pain but with a genuine warmth I’ve not felt in a while.  No, I didn’t meet Mr. Right.  But the incident’s impact, if nurtured and shared, could prove just as long-lasting and perhaps more fulfilling. It all started out routinely enough.  I ran to U-Haul for one last box and then pulled in behind a white pickup truck at a McDonald’s drive-thru to grab some lunch.  Listening to the radio while mulling over what still needs doing before the movers show up next week, I didn’t notice much else.  Pack this box. . .call the utilities. . .clean, clean, clean!  Now, what have I forgotten?  Meanwhile, the line inched forward.  I fumbled through my purse, finally pulling out a wrinkled ten-dollar bill as I reached the pick-up window.  The clerk appeared with my food but waved the money aside.  “You’re fine.  The guy ahead of you paid for your lunch.”

“What?”  My hand holding the crumpled sawbuck still hung out the window.

“You don’t owe anything,” the clerk repeated.  “The guy in that white pickup paid for your lunch.”

I stared, dumbfounded.  “Why?” I blurted finally. The clerk shrugged.  “I dunno.  Guess he just wanted to make your day better.”

Even then it didn’t quite register.  I stared after the departing truck and offered a hesitant wave as it turned onto the street and disappeared into the traffic.  “My goodness.  That’s never happened before.” Feeling strangely light, I thanked the clerk, took my lunch, and drove away.  The upcoming move had me stressed to some degree but not overly burdened; nevertheless, that gentleman’s kindly act seemed to lift a weight off my shoulders.  I wished I could have thanked him properly.  He probably hadn’t seen my wave.  At least, I decided, I could pass his generosity along.  My face relaxed into a broad smile as I drove to Dutch Brothers for an iced tea. Nick, the barista, greeted me with his usual grin and a hearty, “How ya doin’?”

“Great!  But you’re not going to believe this.  I still don’t,” I answered. Nick’s smile never waned as I poured out my tale.  “Actually,” he said, “I hear of that happening quite often.  A guy even did that for me once, and last week the paper had an article about a mom who takes her kids to a drive-in and tells them, ‘How about we do something nice for that man (or that lady) behind us?  Let’s buy them lunch.’  And she does.” Wow!  What an example to set for your children!

As we talked, a woman pulled up to the opposite window.  I gestured toward her.  “Know what?  I’m going to share that guy’s good deed and buy her drink.  I think that’s the best way to thank him.” Nick agreed.  Crossing to the other window, he took her order and brought me the bill.  I paid and then, tea in hand, headed back to the office.  I felt really good.  As I drove, however, I got to thinking.  No stranger had ever bought me lunch before, but several have done thoughtful little things over the years, like opening doors when I’m struggling with a package, holding the elevator, or offering a compliment or cheery greeting.  While they might not seem significant, such small acts uplift the other person’s spirits.  These simple courtesies tell a person, “You matter.” Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto Me.  Having grown up in a Christian home I had heard those words of Jesus many times; yet how often have I withheld common courtesy because I am having a bad day and can’t (or won’t) look beyond my own issues, or because I am just plain Kopping an attitude?  Maybe I can’t afford to buy everyone lunch, but I can certainly extend kindness.  I can say by my words and deeds, “You matter.”

In that light I’ve decided to make the following my daily prayer:  “Lord, help me treat others the way I would like to be treated, regardless of how I am treated in return.  Help me to look for at least one opportunity for an act of kindness today.”  And by living that way, mightn’t I make someone else’s day just a little bit better?

© Everthedreamer, 2020 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given.

Hiking to Fish Dam Island at Eno River State Park

Oh, this takes me back! I can’t wait to get hiking again!

Mark All My Words

Sometimes it’s the little things in life that escape our notice, and sometimes it’s the big things.

When it’s the little things, it’s easy to make excuses. “How was I supposed to know?” is a common refrain, especially when dealing with things so intricate as to be inscrutable — like the tax code or the instructions for putting together Ikea furniture.

But when it’s the big things, it’s harder to make excuses. “How was I supposed to know?” doesn’t seem to hold water when you’re talking about something big enough to be considered a land mass in its own right.

Yet, despite its seeming absurdity, there are times when big things do escape our notice. For instance, when things are so big that they surround us, overwhelm us, or exceed the limits of our senses, we are necessarily beholden to them. Like becoming accustomed to the smell of cow droppings…

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Three simple rules for Successful Life

Some food for thought. And I think the biggest message is: Work hard and DON’T GIVE UP! Thanks, Rising Star, for some good advice and a great post!

It's all about Inspiration

Life is the name of difficulties and struggles. It requires a lot of efforts and strength to live it happily. We require a lot of motivation and inspiration to live it happily and fruitfully. Inspirations play a vital part in the success of our lives. Many a time we exhausts and loose our motto but at that time Inspiration brings all the energy back and we start our journey once again with a new power and new hope.

If you follow the three rules, you will be able to get more and more success in your life. These are the three Secrets of Success in life.

Rules for Successful Life

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A Walk in the Enchanted Forest

Forest Gateway

I never had much interest in trees.  Growing up in southern Idaho’s high desert, I viewed them as little more than windbreaks shielding farms from the howling gales so prevalent in our area.  While I loved the roar of wind in lofty branches and even climbed a tree or two in my younger years, the arboreal realm held little fascination for me–until I bought my first digital camera.  Roaming about our yard one afternoon desperately seeking photo ops, I aimed the lens skyward through the branches of a quaking aspen, clicked the shutter, then opened the viewer to see what wonders I had wrought.  An exquisite pattern of emerald lace against the clear blue sky, more beautiful than I  imagined, filled the tiny screen.  Captivated, I took more shots and now noticed the twists and turns in trunks and limbs and the configurations of the bark and leaves.  I had discovered a whole new world!

A writers’ conference in Canby, Oregon brought me to my Enchanted Forest.  Between seminars and workshops I wandered well-worn paths through seventy acres of pristine woodland, gazing in awe at ancient trees robed in moss and ivy.  Some huddled together as though whispering among themselves.  Filmy veils cascaded from branches and floated on the fragrant breeze.  Sunlight filtered through the branches, bathing a nearby glen in ethereal light.

Ethereal Light

The warm, piney aroma I smelled upon first entering the woods turned sweet/sour as I passed a rotting log and then into a very pleasant fragrance I could not identify as I rounded a corner.  Indeed, the fragrance changed with every step and I thanked God for the senses He had given me to enjoy this scene.  The timing for this walk could not have been more perfect;  I was writing the section of my novel, Warrior Queen of Ha-Ran-Fel, where the heroes hunted the Dark Lord’s beast in the deep forest of San-Leyon.  This quiet little wood became a wilderness kingdom inhabited by rugged woodsmen and the Little People.  Magical creatures in the trees and shrubbery emerged and retreated in the scattered sunlight and shadow.


One trunk resembled a serpentine, leaf-wrapped tornado, and as I rounded another bend–wow, could that be Treebeard strolling by?  (For anyone unfamiliar with Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, Treebeard was an Ent, or tree creature.)


Rounding still another bend, my vivid imagination spotted a spidery form peering through the gloom.

Forest Sprite

Another Ent?  Or perhaps a forest troll or woodland sprite.

Not far beyond that, I encountered what first resembled giant talons, but as I looked closer I thought I saw the head of a miniature pony and its tiny form sprawled atop the gnarl.  It’s rather hard to see in the shadow, but the way the moss drapes off the closest “claw” reminds me of a horse’s mane.

Pony or Claw

At any rate, I took dozens of photos, far more than this post can accommodate.  And what’s really neat (I think) is that, when I look at them again, each photo reveals something I hadn’t noticed before.  Each one became a building block in constructing my story.

I will always cherish this excursion.  I felt as though, in this picturesque little wood, I had entered the fictional world of my book.  And I didn’t have to travel far to find it.

2 Never fear shadows

© Everthedreamer, 2020 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given.

Ocean Sunset

Ocean sunset 7

I’m staring at the most beautiful scene: A northern California shoreline at sunset. The sun hovers just above the waves, staining the heavens with brilliant shades of crimson and orange as it settles in for the night. Foam-topped waves tumble shoreward, churning and swirling among the smooth stones before pulling back for another run. Farther out, a jagged monolith juts out of the sea, black against the fiery backdrop, a lone gull perched on its top.

It’s only a picture, torn from last year’s calendar and tacked to my den wall. But I hear the ocean’s timeless roar, feel the brisk breeze on my face, and I remember a time when I stood on such a beach watching the sunset after an exhilarating day flying kites and running barefoot in the sand. For three glorious days I’d thrown off the shackles of adult obligations to embrace childhood again, reveling in the crisp autumn air of a nearly-empty beach and casting aside cell phone, laptop and wrist watch to commune solely with wind and waves and to hear my Creator’s still small voice.

That evening aroused many emotions: tranquility, serenity, awe and breathless wonder, and even some silliness as I contemplated the cloud of steam that should have erupted when the sun hit the ocean. As a child I actually believed that—until my parents finally told me, very matter-of-factly, that the sun does not drop into the ocean. A basic science class explaining the true nature of the solar system later confirmed their words. But I still think one needs to entertain some silliness once in a while. Everyone needs a little humor and levity. I certainly do.

That meeting of sun and sea made me consider another aspect of life: How often does it seem we tread dangerous waters while heading straight into a fire? I know that feeling, as do countless others. Those pounding waves and raging fires can crush and consume—or they can refine and strengthen. Fire and water play leading roles in my fantasy novels as both destroyers and refiners as, literally and figuratively, my heroes pass through both. What determines how you emerge? Partly who you are: your attitude toward life and people, and how you deal with circumstances. Mostly it is what—or Who—you worship. Years ago I chose to worship Jesus Christ. Does he remove the obstacles? No. Do bad things still happen to us? Yes. Does he intervene in our behalf? Yes, sometimes in ways we don’t expect or think to be right. And does he walk with us in trials, offering grace and comfort? Absolutely!

Sometimes as I gaze at that picture I envy that gull which, unfettered by schedules, deadlines, and the demands of life simply takes to the heavens at will. But there’s a place within me where my Creator lives, where I can lay aside my burdens, collect my thoughts, and talk to Him—and listen when He speaks to my heart. Likely I’ll never live near a beach—but Christ has prepared a place for me more wonderful than any place on this earth. And someday I may even revisit that beach, kick off my shoes, launch my kite and watch it soar among the gulls. In the meantime I cherish the truth that, whether in crushing waves or searing fire, my Savior is always with me.

Ocean sunset 4

© Everthedreamer, 2020 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given.